Can You Improve Without Limitations?
Stillness in Focus Issue #25
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Since joining and interacting on Substack, I’ve been gratified to see a popular theme when it comes to photography: One doesn’t have to feel chained to a single style or genre. Shoot what you want, with whatever you want, on whatever you want. This philosophy is exactly what I needed to hear after years of worrying about my personal style and curating my IG feed to look cohesive.
But I have began to wonder: is too much freedom a detriment to my creativity and leave me with no foundation to build upon?
The truth is, even though I worried about being stylistically consistent, I have always been one to wander and try new things. I learned on film because that’s all there was, jumped in with both feet into digital for the immediacy, and fell back into film when I hit a creative wall. These swings in interest used to come every few years. Now, I wake up not knowing if I’ll shoot trees in black and white, flowers in macro, or an urban color landscape. Some days I’m excited. Others I’m dejected by the constant change.
It feels like everyone is creating zines and books and I wonder to myself why I don’t seem to have a cohesive body of work to share? How can I possibly define my work as a photographer if I have nothing but a jumble of styles and subjects?
The crazy thing is I know what helps me grow: repetition. Every winter when I become obsessed with macro flower photography, the photos I take close to burnout far outweigh the ones at the start. But the thought of sticking with one type of photography fills me with dread. However, maybe that feeling is the point, and is the very thing that makes true creativity break through?
Ironically, I had this limitation, and it worked. I had a monochrome camera and it forced me to take black and white pictures, even in settings where “color” was needed, and I made them work. But after five years with that camera, I had had enough and sold it. It’s been a regret, I have to say.
My issue is entirely mental. I have the dream camera, the dream lens, even the dream bag (for me, anyway). But all the choices make me feel like I’m spinning on a Price is Right money wheel. Every time I see a new style (to me), I’m tempted to reinvent myself. However, my black and white work is consistent, and seemingly immune to the temptation to imitate others. Working and shooting with film does not offer me this sense of aimlessness either. My color digital work, on the other hand, gets torn apart and rebuilt every six weeks.
Is there a clue in there somewhere? Clearly, one area of my photography leaves me restless and in need of commitment. But for how long should I commit to shooting digital color? Forever? No, that doesn’t sound like me.
Perhaps I have a question without an answer? Maybe I’ll never have a cohesive body of work. Maybe all the jumping around between genres, cameras, and mediums is actually what defines me? My inconsistency is actually the one consistent thing about my photography: a never-ending curiosity of chasing what feels alive in the moment.
Looking back through my body of work, I don’t see just random photographs, but phases, experiments, and obsessions. Taken together, that is my “style.” Maybe my real issue isn’t discipline versus freedom, but the willingness to keep showing up and taking photographs? In the end, could it be my wanderings are my foundation?
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Wishing you moments of stillness and beauty
David
Hi David, I think you know how I feel about this but I'll say it anyway and that it's all a journey. I lose my directional compass when I start to seek harsh "shoulds". When I am in full freedom mode, I'm just priming the engine and eventually, I'll find something that leads me to a tiny light somewhere that starts calling me in. That's when a little discipline comes in.
I wandered for 20 years, directionless, but I had fun the whole way. Slowly, it all came together for me. But those "phases" and "experiments" eventually showed their value.
And I've never made a zine... I wanted to, but it just didn't work for me. That's ok. I've done other things. Great seeing your thoughts here.
I really enjoyed the series, so thanks for posting. BTW, if you like pastel, check out Wes Anderson's films and the "Accidentally Wes Anderson" website and books.
I noted your comment about Substack offering the freedom to post whatever, whenever. That's certainly true but, when I was on social media, I found myself doing precisely that anyway, because the likes of Instagram never rewarded consistency of approach where content is concerned. I'm still pretty new to Substack and I don't post a lot of content but my aim is to distil my content into short-term and long-term projects. I'll use it to inform decisions on what I include in / exclude from my website. I'm not a professional but I want to put good work out there, not just a random selection of unconnected images.
Anyway, keep on keeping on. Best....